Next! Movies that are Superbad

Nicolas Cage! What are you doing to me, man! On a morning that I felt all warm and fuzzy towards you thanks to Adaptation, I found out that you made Next:

Clearly, Jessica Biel is Hollywood’s new love interest … but who could love Nicolas Cage with that hair? This is a Phillip K. Dick vehicle, but we all know that guarantees nothing. For every Blade Runner there are a million Paychecks. For every A Scanner Darkly there’s a Total Recall (and how ambiguous is this statement?).
Much as I’ve grown to love Julianne Moore, she’s no guarantee of a quality movie. I mean, sure, she’s great and all … but Julianne Moore versus stupid hair Nicolas Cage? I’m not exactly in a hurry for that. No wonder there was a five month delay between the US and here.

On the other hand, Superbad, despite its tempting name, looks like it could be a fantastic comedic tour de force, even though it’s a teen sex comedy. Check out the “R Rated” trailer, which is totally not safe for work (but who uses YouTube at work? For shame):

I mean, come on! McLovin! Having a gun is like having two cocks … if one of your cocks could kill someone! So yeah, I don’t need to identify with the contents of a movie to enjoy it … unless you’re the pathetic friend of a Camero that creepily tries to get you to copulate with pretty girls on top of it. (That’s right, Michael Bay! You will never cease tasting my wrath!)

This entry was posted in Film, Trailers. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Anti-spam image